While child support is usually a matter of calculation, alimony is a matter of negotiation or judicial discretion. There is no spreadsheet that you can plug numbers into and get a calculated number for alimony. This is because alimony is seen as an equitable remedy. It is a question of fairness. While all children are worthy of support, a spouse's conduct during the marriage--and during the divorce litigation--can affect the alimony award.
There are two types of alimony: rehabililtative and indefinite. Rehabilitative alimony is designed to help a spouse get back into the workforce. It is normally awarded to someone who has sacrificed their career to stay at home with the children. They are then given several years of alimony to help them while they are getting back up to full employment. Indefinite alimony is awarded when the parties' standards of living will be "unconscionably disparate" or when one spouse will not be able to support themselves, even after as much rehabilitation as possible. This usually means that one spouse has pursued a career during the marriage and now has a high income, while the other spouse has been at home with the children and would now be lucky to make $30,000 a year. "Not able to support themselves," usually means that the spouse has a disability.
When evaluating whether an award of alimony would be fair, the judge is required to consider these factors:
1. The ability of the party seeking alimony to be wholly or partly self-supporting;
2. The time necessary for the party seeking alimony go gain sufficient education or training to enable that party to find suitable employment;
3. The standard of living that the parties established during their marriage;
4. The duration of the marriage;
5. The contributions, monetary and nonmonetary, of each part to the well-being of the family;
6. The circumstances that contributed to the estrangement of the parties;
7. The age of each party;
8. The physical and mental condition of each party;
9. The ability of the party from whom alimony is sought to meet that party's needs while meeting the needs of the party seeking alimony;
10. Any agreement between the parties;
11. The financial needs and resources of each party.
In the classic alimony case, the husband has pursued his career and now makes good money, while the wife has stayed at home with the children. If the wife is fairly young and has good education and work history, rehabilitative alimony will be awarded to help her get back into the workforce. If the marriage has been longer, the wife is in her fifties and has little relevant education and work history, indefinite alimony will probably be awarded. Obviously, if the husband's income is higher, alimony will likely be larger and longer.
"The circumstances that contributed to the estrangment of the parties," is usually a favorite topic of the parties but means little to most judges. Judges tend to focus on need and the ability to pay. Misconduct of a party usually has to be extraordinary before it can have any effect on the alimony award.
Alimony may be the most difficult issue to settle. First, the decisions of courts are all over the place. The judge's discretion with alimony is broad and seemingly similar cases can produce widely differing awards. Second, divorcing people do not like supporting each other. Trying to get to a number that one spouse will agree to pay and the other will agree to accept is often very difficult. Two approaches seem to work. At the settlement conference in court with a retired judge, the judge will often give an opinion about the alimony awarded based on their years of experience. Such an opinion carries weight and can influence both parties to settle. The other appraoch is the financial neutral that is usually a part of the collaborative approach to settlement. The financial neutral is a CPA who has been trained to help divorcing couples work together to evaluate financial issues. The financial neutral will put together a spreadsheet of expenses and income. Such an approach can help people focus realistically on the numbers, instead of "the circumstances that contributed to the estrangement of the parties."